My forevermore: My Forevermore

My forevermore: My Forevermore:                                                           There are a lot of people who are going through the pain of watching a lov...

Love or money?: Has marriage become more spectacle than commitment...

Love or money?: Has marriage become more spectacle than commitment...: It seems marriage has become more of a spectacle then a commitment. Ever since Charles and Lady Diane's nuptials weddings have beco...

Has marriage become more spectacle than commitment?

It seems marriage has become more of a spectacle then a commitment.

Ever since Charles and Lady Diane's nuptials weddings have become over budgeted spectacles.

I can remember how the wedding of two soap opera characters captured the attention of just about every American in the U.S.

 It was like our version of the royal wedding you could not find a person on the streets during the 1 hour presentation
of a union between this fake couple.

You can best believe the work production in the U.S. and around the world all but stopped.

Today you have reality shows exploiting the sanctity of marriage with phony proposals and fake marriages.

With these kinds of scams it’s not hard to believe the numbers for marriages ending in divorce are above fifty percent.

Why would anyone take marriage seriously?
Marriages seem doomed from the start when the prime examples are celebrity misfits who can’t manage their own lives without an agent and a personal assistant to keep track of their every move?

It should not be a surprise that they are incapable of maintaining a relationship.

Marriage today has regressed.  Celebrity has made it to be disposable.
Having a disagreement about what to have for dinner seems to be enough to throw in the towel and get a divorce these days.

The fairy tale no longer exists for today’s generation.
  A knight in shiny armor riding a white horse was penetrated into every young girls head as the vision to behold for the man of her dreams.
That’s one big expectation to put in little girls heads.

This notion stays there through adolescents and into adulthood making it almost impossible for her to settle on a mere descent lad.

Once she does find the man she would like to spend the rest of her life with the pressure begins as to how she can make him see their fate as well.

The wheels begin to churn and the dance begins to get the ultimate prize; the proposal. She fantasizes about how she would like it to happen and drops hints to her man in a not so subtle ways.

With any luck he picks up on the hints and begins the hunt for the right moment and time.

There is so much emphasis put on the ring as to how much should be spent and the size of the ring itself.  This deed for a lot of men will turn out to be one of the biggest investments of his life in more ways than one. Buy a ring too small and you risk the disappointment of your intended.

 Go to big (expensive) and you risk your beginning financial future. The engagement ring is supposed to be a symbol of your intensions but todays standards of the size of the ring has made it somehow a class status.  When the emphasis is put on the size and cost of the ring it’s just more of the fairy tale expectations of that knight riding in on the white horse and taking you away.

The problem is you have already started out on the wrong foot. It should not matter about the size or cost of the ring. The real focus should be on the love that comes with the ring.

You make eighty grand a year but Spending 10 thousand dollars on a ring to a young couple starting out can bring hardship from this point on. You have not even gotten into planning the wedding and you’re ten thou in the hole.  You must also take into account that you are in this proverbial hole alone because unlike future expenses she does not share in the cost.

The tradition of the father paying for the wedding is all but a cliché these days. I mean what hard working father can really afford a 20 thousand dollar wedding?That cost will likely expand when it’s all said and done.
We haven’t even totaled in the cost of the honeymoon.

Women see these celebrity or reality show weddings and think “hey that’s what I want. The problem is you have to pay for it there's no network covering the expense.
Together you make a combined income of let’s say one –hundred and twenty thousand dollars and now you going to leverage 20 grand or more of that to get married. Does that sound reasonable when you think about life after the wedding? You still need to have a place to live pay your personal and now joint expenses all on a modest income. You are set up to have a financial crisis before the honeymoon ends but hey you’re in love and as long as you have that everything will be fine. 
At least that’s what you’ve been told of in the fairy tale.

You’ve spent so much time in the planning of the engagement party, showers and the planning of the wedding you have been negligent in realizing the vows you will take.

What does it really means to have and to hold from this day forth?
Did you really hear or give thought to the vow in sickness and health, for better or” worse Until death do we part"?

 It does not say until I don’t like the way you chew your food or whatever flaw you may have discovered about your spouse that you don’t like. You accepted all of that when you said I do; but marriage has become disposable and many couples decide to end it without even really trying to work it out.

Money is a big reason most marriages fail. It becomes too much of a drain when there is very little of it to spend. The fairy tale ends and you see that love is not all you need.
You like being able to walk in a store and buy whatever it is you fancy.
Your knight is no longer so shiny and that white stallion has become an old plow horse.

As a man you begin to ask yourself does she love you for you or how many dollars you bring to the table. Sadly marriage has become that simple that cheap. 

How many of these happy marriages would last if a financial drop off were to occur and she could no longer live in the life she had become accustomed too?

 I dare to say too few to mention. Charles and Lady Diane divorced, Luke and Laura divorced.

Your favorite reality stars or celebrities divorced.

What happened to the fairy tale?

The difference between the majorities of married couples today is you don’t share the same wealth as Royals or celebs. You do not live in a soap opera nor are you a star in a reality show.

 You live in the world where the reality of personal responsibility and commitment exists. When all the guest go home and the excitement from the wedding is over it’s just you and your spouse.

Marriage itself is not a fairy tale it’s a commitment to love and cherish one another through all the obstacles life may throw your way.
You may not get the complete fairy tale wedding but you can have all of what love has to offer.

it requires work and dedication and learning to compromise.

Remember marriage should begin with love so if you can keep love first you will be off to a good start.

 Written By: Larry D. Miller